Is it too late for me?

 

I've always been a free spirit. I am constantly looking for something fun and new. If I get bored or restricted, I run. I've never thought of myself as a slut/whore, but someone who likes to do what they want when they want with who they want. I rarely think about the consequences and like to go with what I feel at the time. I never go out looking for trouble, but trouble always seems to find me, and trouble always comes in the form of a boy. I have no problems attracting attention from the opposite sex. It's just that it's never the "right" attention. A typical night out would be my friends and I at a bar/club and a cute boy buying me drinks and dancing with me. For me, it's all about chemistry. It's either there or it's not. Unfortunately, the initial spark between myself and a male always just leads to sex and nothing more.

Looking back, I have been with many guys and unfortunately none of them have been meaningful. I never have usually hooked up with anyone for more than a month or so. When I do develop feelings, I try my best to hide them in fear of being rejected (because most guys don't want relationships). I have been told by several guys that I've been with that they like me because I'm a girl who just "likes to have fun." I am a fun and easy going person and that's what people like about me, but does this mean that I can't be in a relationship?

I am scared that I will never love or truly be loved. I have been in one relationship where I hurt my boyfriend of the time very badly. Perhaps this is karma. I was young, stupid, and selfish. I just turned 23. Recently, I have been feeling more alone than ever. I have great girl friends, but none of them seem to really understand what I feel. Guys that I'm attracted to and who I also in turn attract are always those who are never emotionally available. One guy that I was hooking up with for awhile that I started developing feelings for a couple years ago even told me that I am not "girlfriend material."

-F

She's broken / He's ok

Let's fall in love

If you would to follow

I miss you like hell

 

Dear best friend,

I miss you like hell. Every single day I miss you, your smile, hugs, laugh and jokes. I need you in my life like I need my sister and mom. You just have to believe it yourself, and not to mention believe in yourself. I don’t say this just because I feel like I have to, it’s because I need to, and I want you to know this. I miss you so much. And to the things that I told you last summer, I must say that it was a total mistake. I don’t love you like that. Or, I do, but I don’t want to be your girlfriend. I just want your loving friendship, our loving friendship. What really hurts me, is that you never answered, never even texted me. You could have said something, just left a text saying you were sorry that I felt like that or whatever. But the thing was, I never felt like that. I just missed you so much that I thought I loved you. I thought the feeling I got was out of love, the real love. I was so wrong, and I lost you because of it. It’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. They say that you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Well, now I do. It kills me to see you now, the way you act around other people, around my friends and me. I don’t see anything of the old you, only a new and totally insecure you needing a real friend. I want to be that friend. I want to help you. I know this sounds really creepy, but sometimes I even dream of you. We’re friends again, everything is so good and peaceful, and I don’t even have to worry about your uptight girlfriend. Then when I wake up, I’m sadder than ever. I try so hard to fall asleep again and just picture us together laughing and feeling so safe and calm. But it’s just a dream, and I go to school and you don’t even look at me. It breaks me inside. I want what’s best for you in your life. I hope you know that. I just wish I could be a part of it.

Yours always. 

My Baby is my future

uture for my destiny, InsyaAllah Amin. I'll try to forget my past and give the best for the future. I know maybe it's hard and unbelieved for make it alright, but if you believed the beginning of love, you can find the real love that you'll loving. it cause, i believe and i try with God's plan. My baby gave me a love & he has taken my heart, surely.

And do you can believe with this picture too?

Anytime, i felt love is unfair too. but, have a thing which beautiful is a awesome for your life.

I dedicated for my "SRIBU" (XII IPS 1 ♥)

Kalo ngeliat foto ini apa yang ada dipikiran kalian? kebersamaan? ya, tentu. sedih rasanya kalo inget masa-masa waktu gue lalui dengan orang-orang itu. bukan karena apa, terlalu banyak kenangan gue bersama mereka. mereka itu orang-orang yang bisa ngehibur gue lebih dari cukup ketika gue lagi sedih. yea ofcourse in the friendship, pasti lo pernah nemuin masa sedih dan senang, masa deket dan adanya slek-slekan, sampe ribut yang buat merasa benci satu sama lainnya. tapi yakin, setelah lo udah gak jalani itu semua lagi dengan mereka, lo akan merasa sangaaaat kehilangan. kurang lebih 1 bulan lagi terakhir kalinya gue masih bisa bareng bareng lagi sama mereka, di akhir SMA gue yang menyenangkan tentunya... :')

 

seneng ya kalo ngeliat canda tawa dari keceriaan mereka. cuma satu hal yang gue pertanyain sekarang, apakah ini bakalan gue dapet lagi pas gue kuliah nanti? apa ketawa lepas bareng mereka ini bisa gue lalui lagi pas gue kuliah? cukup memories yang menjawabnya..  

 It's so funnyyyy!!! Lucu ya kalo ngeliat tingkah-tingkahnya mereka. wah gila gila gila deh. sayangnya, kita udah gabisa kaya gitu bareng-bareng lagi. hiksss sedih ya... tapi kalo inget kita bakalan lulus bareng-bareng 100% yaaaa gak sedih lagi sih cuma gamau aja pisah sama mareka. 

Thanks for being my friends & thanks for the unforgettable moments that you gave to me, guys!

I LOVE YOU